SOME People OBVIOUSLY Can't FATHOM My BRILLIANCE

To Mssrs. Jonathan and the hundreds of others who read my learned blog on a daily basis,

I shall have you know that you made an unforgivable mistake in your recent blog posting. What is this mention of "reds" and "whites," this talk of revolution-from-below and Lenin? Clearly you are hopelessly mired in the early 1920s, content to pick at the uncomplicated events of the Russian Civil War whilst sullying the good name of your peers. Well I say to that harrumph, good sir! I do believe it was plain for all to see that my erudite analysis of the Russian psyche concerned the period of time known as (and I quote myself, wonderfully) "the late 1920s" and "the 1930s." Yes, you may have stumbled upon an inkling of correctitude, namely that (and I quote you, unfortunately) "for the most part, people went with their own self interest," and certainly this was true for those caught up in the hellish maelstrom the aforementioned civil war, but...actually, this was also true for those pinned down under the terrible weight of Stalin's revolution-from-above. Perhaps I did not happen to fill my sentences with enough clarity, or rather I forgot to mention the very motivating factor of fear that Stalin so exuded, that fear of deporation, of famine, and of death. Now, most rational beings, acting out of their own-self interest, would take steps to ensure that they were not exposed to such things, even if these "steps" involved working for a totalitarianly murderous regime. But, such fear as this, coinciding with the purges of the 1930s, was not so everpresent when Stalin first took power and began instituting his policies. What about those people who implemented and carried out Stalin's plans in the beginning? Why did they act the way they did? What motivated them? I expect the answers to all the questions on the morrow, attached with twine to the leg of a mottled speckledove.

Your good sir,
Nate